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16th May, 2008 @ 10:45 2008 Black Belt Foundation Charity Kick-a-Thon
Hello Everyone!

I have been thinking for a while about what the best way to approach this is. I honestly feel kind of silly, begging for money, when I know that the vast majority of you are poor college students such as myself.
Regardless, I would like to ask you all to sponsor me in J.W. Kim Tae Kwon Do Black Belt Foundation 2008 Charity Kick-a-Thon.

What is a Kick-aThon? You may ask.
The Black Belt foundation is a charity created by my master, J. W. Kim to assist martial artists in one of the most poor and derelict areas of Brazil. The students there do not have uniforms, equipment, or even a school to practice in. Most of them do not eat regularly, and many do not have shelter at night.
The goal of the Black Belt Foundation is to help raise money to provide these students with training equipment, clothing, and hopefully a school to train in. I feel that this is extremely important for those of us who are extremely privileged to try and benefit those in need, and to help share what we so often take for granted with those less fortunate.
But why Tae Kwon Do?
As a martial artist myself, who has been doing Tae Kwon Do for around eleven years, I can personally attest to the great positive impact it can have on your life. I believe that in giving these students a way to study Tae Kwon Do effectively, we are opening up doors for them to better succeed at life and to change their situation from one of hopelessness to one of empowerment and achievement. The discipline and values associated with the practice of Tae Kwon Do are applicable across all modes of life, and I believe that in helping the students in Brazil, we can help them have a drastically better quality of life.

So, the Black Belt Foundation hosts an event called the Kick-a-Thon to raise money for these students. The kick-a-thon is a donation and sponsored event wherein Tae Kwon Do students kick paddles for a half an hour straight with a sponsors donation of a certain amount of money per kick. This is a very fun and passionate way to raise money, and I think the experience is very valuable to those who participate as well as those who receive the proceeds.

I am going to be kicking in this years event, and I am looking for sponsors. You can donate in two ways: either a direct donation (write a check for a certain amount) or by sponsoring me for a certain amount of money per kick (for example 5 cents per kick). I understand that money is usually tight, but I encourage you all to find some way to donate, even if you can only spare $5. Every little bit helps.

If you are interested in sponsoring me or donating directly to The Black Belt Foundation, please send me an email at kaywolf@simla.colostate.ed
u or give me a phone call if you have my number.

Thank you!

-Kay
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11th Apr, 2008 @ 12:44 Tatanka Ohitika
Place: desk
Attitude: lazy
Tunes: Beck and Iron&Wine mostly


I know i've not been uploading art to this journal much, but I was pretty proud of this one, so here you go.

"Historically the buffalo had more influence on man than all other Plains animals combined. It was life, food, raiment, and shelter to the Indians. The buffalo and the Plains Indians lived together, and together passed away. The year 1876 marks practically the end of both. . . ." Walter Prescott Webb, The Great Plains (Ginn and Company, 1931).

"We are taught to believe that the Great Spirit sees and hears everything, and that he never forgets: that hereafter he will give every man a spirit-home according to his deserts....This I believe, and all my people believe the same."
Chief Joseph Nez Perce

There is no quiet place in the white man's cities. No place to hear the leaves of spring or the rustle of insect wings. But perhaps because I am a savage and do not understand - the clatter only seems to insult the ears. And what is there to life if a man cannot hear the lovely cry of the whippoorwill or the arguments of the frog around the pond at night?
The whites too shall pass - perhaps sooner than other tribes. Continue to contaminate your bed and you will one night suffocate in your own waste. When the buffalo are all slaughtered, the wild horses all tamed, the secret corners of the forest heavy with the scent of many men, and the view of the ripe hills blotted by talking wires. Where is the eagle? Gone. Where is the buffalo? Gone. And what is it to say goodbye to the swift and the hunt, the end of living and the beginning of survival.
Chief Seattle 1855.

I learned a lot doing this piece. Not a lot to say about the meaning. I hope it is understandable on its own.

Yes, I am a westerner. Yes, this land is in my heart.
I am the great-great-great-grandchild of an Ogalala Souix.
I am the descendant of the conquering, pillaging Europeans.
But I love this land, and love can reconcile all differences.

Image and Character copyright Kay Lambert 2008

The title means 'Brave Buffalo' in Lakota.
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9th Apr, 2008 @ 13:42 D:
Attitude: sore
number 6 on the top ten worst burps list: burped peanut butter spinach herb tortilla.

that is all.
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7th Apr, 2008 @ 12:37 upset a bit
Attitude: lethargic
so... i guess this is a journal, and thus i should journal in it from time to time. after all, i believe that's what it's for.

i'm sort of at a standstill right now, it feels like. i eat, sleep and go to work. relatively exclusively. most days i get up, eat breakfast, think about doing something productive, and then just go back to sleep. when i wake up i usually just read or procrastinate until i go to work. then i work, go to my classes and come home.
i'm not drawing hardly at all. it feels like nothing wants to come out of my hands and even if it did, i don't have the patience for it.
i'm trying really hard to do chores, to keep busy, to be active...hell, to do anything... but it feels like there's some small invisible line that just keeps me reeled in. the only breakaways i usually get are the occasional hyper-productive days that leave me exhausted or the occasional outing with friends. and for the most part, i get uncomfortable partway through such outings and just want to go home.
even when 'Ro is around, i mostly just want to say in and snuggle or read or just be in hir company. i dunno.
i usually go to bed at the end of the day feeling wanton, and like a failure for not having done enough, or completed enough, or whatever. but i just can't seem to do anything.
i know that i'm making the choice to do these things, and that if i could find the strength i could push through and move forward. but whenever i find that strength, it seems short lived. i get one or two days where i can do it, and then it's back to square one.
i just get so exhausted so easily.
and it's so simple to just lose myself in my books. lose myself in warmth and comfort and the security that comes from not taking any risks.
what bothers me isn't so much the lack of contact, or the repetitiveness of the day, it's mostly the constant sleeping and unproductivity.

i wish i could focus long enough to complete a drawing, or something worthwhile. i just get listless. i get distracted. i get tired.
i'm always fucking tired.

but, as i am an eternal optimist i'm hoping for the best.
hoping these things are temporary. hoping the medicine and therapy and whatever else starts to help. hoping i did the right thing. hoping i can hold it together and heal and grow enough to reach my goals. i'll always have hope, if nothing else.

/end rant/
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24th Mar, 2008 @ 10:21 sleeping a lot
Attitude: depressed
i sleep the sleep of the depressed.


joy.
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12th Mar, 2008 @ 21:27 (no subject)
Attitude: blah
so i realize i've been rather negligent of this account in reference to my art for some time. i apologize to any of you who watched this account to follow my art.
truthfully, i only update here every so often with my current day-to-day and really have it more to check friend's pages.
that said, i've mostly been uploading to my FA account as of late, but occasionally my DA account also.
www.kalabrianwolf.deviantart.com
www.furaffinity.net/user/kalabrianwolf

yup.

well, my denver stint has been up and down thus far. everything got off to a good start but then i fell ill with a 'virus that mimics the flu' which essentially means you feel wretched and there's not much anyone can do about it.
about a week ago i started feeling better and returned to tae kwon do and work, but then started to feel ill again monday. this time it was a definite sinus issue, and as luck would have it i got a full blown sinus infection.
so, things have been kind of rocky lately.
i'm hoping everything will even out as i get well again, but i am worried that my body will take this opportunity to just sort of 'shut down' for a while. it is a danger of taking time off, i think.
well, i figure if i keep busy enough, things should be all right.

in other news, i'm not going to china and korea after all. the plane tickets, hotel price, tickets to the olympics and other add-ons were just too expensive for anyone to afford. i'm pretty disappointed, but i'm hoping that maybe 'Ro and I can go to Alaska over the summer instead.
merf.

other than that, i'm missing all my FoCo homies. <3
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4th Mar, 2008 @ 17:20 (no subject)
wow. i haven't been sick in over a year and then *bam*. sick as a dog, as it were.
i have a fever, chills, shakes, aches, headache, cough, sneezes and overall DOOM.

unfortunately, i went to the doctor and they said that it is 'a viral infection that mimics the flu'. which means that i have all the unrelenting joy of the flu, without the ability to take any antibiotics to make it better. boo.

well, that's about all the self-pity i can muster for the moment.

i miss my friends in FoCo.
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24th Feb, 2008 @ 19:47 (no subject)
hey!
i just wanted to let everyone know that i'm alive and moving in! i've got all my stuff back in Denver, and am slowly but surely putting my space together. things are going rather briskly, so that's encouraging, but there's still a decent quantity of work to be done.
that said, i'll probably be another day or two before i'm truly 'back on-line' as it were. my inbox of messages and artwork and notes and everything on both Deviantart and Furaffinity are decently sized, so it'll take me a little while to work through it all.  i will get to everything in good time, and respond/leave comments/ favourite/reply s quickly as i can. if you have something that is (for whatever reason) time sensitive, please shoot me an email at kaywolf@simla.colostate.edu

other than that... life is moving forward.

namaste

kay
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22nd Feb, 2008 @ 10:59 going....different
well, things aren't yet going what i would describe as 'better', but they are going different.
i moved all my things down to Denver and now i just need to move all my furniture. shouldn't be too hard.
then set up all this next week and i guess i'm ready to spend... a while in D-town.

anyway, as of Monday, I should be a Denverite once more.

I miss my friends already. and my roommates. i really do love them so, it's going to be really hard to leave. ;.;
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17th Feb, 2008 @ 20:19 changes
Place: apartment
Attitude: depressed
Tunes: sublime
so, i have finally concluded the great segue that was trying to figure out where my life is going. it has not been fun, nor is the outcome full of joy, but i think the right decisions have been made.
the low down:
over the past few months i have been becoming continually worse in terms of mental health, sanity and wellness. i have not been particularly good at accepting and then reacting to what were clear signs of trouble. therefore, what started out as a period of bad feelings has progressed into a full blown problem.
essentially my life is being affected so adversely that i found i was needing to do something about the problems. i had tried and tried to ignore/deal with that issues, but the truth is i need actual psychological and medical assistance as well as a period to truly work on these issues, and i've never taken it. and unfortunately, the build up is lifelong, so the processing will take a correspondingly long time, i expect.
so.

after a lot of consideration, upsettedness and mighty attempts, i have decided to:
-move back home
-start working toward my 2nd degree in Tae Kwon Do
-get a job
-start seeing the appropriate doctors
-work through my issues
-take 1-2 semesters off

there was a brief period when i played with a few other ideas, all of which really turned out to be avoidance techniques or simply not good enough. the final decision was made this weekend after meeting with my doctor of many many years who basically told me that i should take some time off from school, do tae kwon do, and heal.


so. that's the most concise, impersonal and definite description i can give of what the deal is. if you'd like to know any more sticky details of what's going on, just ask. i don't mind i just don't want to push it on anyone who doesn't want to know.

in other news, who all is Denver side, as i'll be going back there?

namaste
kay
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14th Feb, 2008 @ 13:13 (no subject)
mehrf. maybe i should have withdrawn and move home. maybe i still should.

i'd love some feedback, but i don't think anyone will give any.

mmmm. chocolate.

valentine's day is cool. i just wish i weren't too depressed to enjoy it.
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12th Feb, 2008 @ 10:27 the plan
Place: office
Attitude: gila monster
as of currently. subject to change

SP08
-finish out the semester
-quit my job
-try to get stuff in a reasonable semblace of control
-keep going.

SU08
-move back home
-do tae kwon do
-do tae kwon do
-do tae kwon do
-look for job for F08
-HOPEFULLY go to China/Korea in August

F08
-Work towards 2nd Degree in Tae Kwon Do
-Get Job
-Do math requirements
-take care of my shit.

well, that's as far as i've gotten. As i said, subject to change. Ack. things are so wierd right now.
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8th Feb, 2008 @ 09:06 changes

so things might be shaken up a bit in the near future. i won't say much here now, as i want to get a better sense of what might transpire, but i will say that it could be interesting.
in other news, my stomach is in all out revolt. i think it's planning on forming a rival faction from the rest of my body and then recruiting the appendix and gall bladder to mount an attack and attempt to overthrow me. it's quite interesting. 

anyway.

ch ch chhh... changes.....

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3rd Feb, 2008 @ 21:01 Paprika
Place: desk
Tunes: aesop rock
hey. go see the movie Paprika. you won't be disappointed. great stuff.

anyway. i wrote a poem. it's basically rubbish, as i'm a visual artist, not a creative writer, but it seemed good enough to share.

Self Portrait- Blunt

Strained, contained, hairbrained and estranged.
Stranded on the hairsbredth of air supporting the cliffside from the ocean surge.
Jello, formed in a cup but easily melted.
The pleasure-pain pull of hair trying to regain control.
I am out of control.
I am the most hesitant, eager to join, timid to start, loud to finish walking contradiction that
self-deprecation has ever seen.
I am not going to throw up.
I am the sick sweet smell of liquorice pastilles bought from the dime store.
Wide eyes of the bystander.
I am chronically addicted to creating my own prisons; after all, the government provides three square meals a day and recreation time.
I am the musk I wish I had evolved to smell.
I am the most fearless, timid, courageous, chickenshit, $3.95 discount, high quality spazz on my dad's insurance.
I am the quiet poetry of a foreign language that I can't speak.
I am a reality protester, bent on pursuing other dimensions.
Guilty. Of Everything. Guilty as charged.
I am the wrong word at the wrong time, the wrong touch in the wrong place, the wrong type for any application
but
I am the right man to care.
I am the gift of loam in the winter storm, but I warn you: I have bugs in me.
I am misdirected poorly shaped clay.
I wanted to be bronze.
---


yup.

anyway, making good headway on commissions. stuff should be getting done over the next week. :D

ps: music.
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24th Jan, 2008 @ 11:27 (no subject)
fuck
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20th Jan, 2008 @ 00:02 (no subject)
Place: desk
Attitude: uncomfortable
Tunes: modest mouse
Tags:
i'm really bad about uploading my art to this journal.
actually, i'm really bad about keeping up with this journal in general. that'll teach me.
mehf.
i would try harder, but i have a ton of stuff that i need to be trying at more than livejournal updates.
for art of an effortful sort that may well have some merit and redeeming value, visit www.kalabrianwolf.deviantart.com
for art of a completely silly nature that you may or may not find offensive go to www.furaffinity.net/users/kalabrianwolf

anyway. i'll probably not be updating here really at all. i'll still check friend's pages and such. you can reach me easily via email or through the above specified art networks.

btw: if you don't like the art considered 'furry' do not visit the second listed link. if you want to make a stink about the anthro community, blow me.
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14th Jan, 2008 @ 21:51 FoCo
Place: my apartment
Attitude: pensive
Tunes: Iron&Wine
hem. i don't think i've updated since san francisco. my bad. since then: i got a tattoo, i put Nathan up for sale (PLEASE someone kind buy him!), i went skiing, i worried about my brother, i missed my friends, i got let down, i mended some things, i got a crazycool new hat, i felt guilty, i felt alone, i tried out this new tae kwon do place and am trying to be ok with it, i talked stuff over with master kim and i feel hopeful, i wanna go on a trip, i want new music, i had fun with my family, and i snuggled with my dog. mmyup.

the present:

so. i am up in FoCo for the duration. all settled in at my new digs. i'm thinking about taking some pictures and uploading just for fun. however, i don't have a camera, so if any of my FoCo homies wanna stop by for a photo shoot of my tattoo and room i would be super grateful. i don't mean to brag, but the place looks pretty awesome. definitely me. it's a teensy weensy apartment, but i'm living with my friends so it's all good. anyway. if you live in the fort, give me a holler.

school starts up on the 22nd. i'm actually looking forward to it. heres what i'm taking:

Figure Drawing (again): the experience i had with a grad student for 3 weeks over the summer was abysmal. even though i got a decent grade, i want to retake the class and actually get something out of it this time.
PRINTMAKING: suuuuuper excited for this one. you don't even know.
Art History II
History Pre-1500: Basically the history class covering the pieces i care about. i'm sort of a pre-600AD guy, myself.

yay! i'm taking a light looking courseload, but with two hugeface history classes and two studio classes i'll more than have my hands full.

other than that, i found a dojo that i think will at least work for keeping me in shape.

got a new bike too. he's my baby.

>>be awaiting details on the CHINA/KOREA trip!!!!!! who knows what the future may hold!

= further, i might be offering another couple commissions in a week or so, depending on how my schedule plays out and whether my other two jobs every pay=

anyway. as it's said, i don't know where my life is, but i can't help but be excited to see where it's going.
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30th Dec, 2007 @ 21:22 back from San Francisco!
Place: parent's house
Attitude: crazy
Tunes: wauvenfold
hello everyone!!! i'm back from san francisco. great trip.
first off, let me say that i WILL respond to each and every one of my 122 total inbox messages here, but that it may take me a couple days. i have never had my DA be so full and out of control, so i'm going to have to figure that out!
secondly, i did a whole bunch of sketches, lineworks and inks over the trip, so there should be a slow but steady upload of all that stuff over the next week. 99.9% of what i did were lines for projects that will eventually be full-color or multiple, so i'll have to see if i want to upload the lines before the finals are done. ^^
commission people: i have been working on your stuff. i'll be messaging you with what i have for your consideration/review etc... over the next week and hopefully can be getting some finals out by early the following week! yay!

>>in regards to some of my linework: does anybody know how to get 2 or more different pages of uploaded lines to be usable in the same photoshop document? i've tried a bunch of things, but i can only get them to open as separate documents. i need them so that i can work with, say, 2 pages of scanned work on the same canvas so that it becomes a single composition. note me if you know how to do this and i will be eternally grateful!

hopefully that will cover my behind for the next little while.

now then:
a gigantic day-by-day account of my trip:

Dec. 24: arrived in San Francisco. Hotel is really cool. little i-pod radio hookups in the room! yowza. walked from hotel in Fisherman's Wharf to Gherradhelli Square and had a nice christmas eve dinner. much fun!

Dec. 25: Christmas, so most everything was closed. Walked all over the city though. Went to ihop for breakfast, as it was the only place open and then walked along the Wharf looking at the Piers. hiked up some pretty steep roads and visited Coit tower. there was an entire tree filled with parrots! awesome views. Went to chinatown and had a good look around. my brother wanted to buy several knives of questionable quality but i talked him out of it. there were some really interesting handmade paper kites though, which i bought for people as presents. wandered off on my own for a while and found a really fascinating wood carver in Gheredhelli square. my dad eventually bought a carved owl off of him.
unfortunately, i was still feeling kind of sick, so i passed out around 6 in the evening.

Dec. 26: Boxing day! this day was my favourite day of the whole trip. we got up really early and found a tour place where we booked a winery tour for the day. we drove over the golden gate bridge and listened to our really interesting tour guide tell us about san francisco. he was awesome. then we drove to muir woods, which were beyond words. the best part of the whole trip was the hike i had through the woods. giant sequoia trees really are amazing. i did wish for a longer hike, less people and some peace and quiet, though. then we had a long drive into napa valley where we went to the jacuzzi winery and saw our first vines. wineries really are beautiful places. then we went to the sonoma village and learned about the missionaries. a famous artist had done watercolours of all the missions on the 'spanish coast' in the early 1900s and there was a beautiful gallery of the works in sonoma. then we went to the cline winery, where i sneaked samples and bought 'ro a bottle of some really awesome wine. i have never tasted wine as good as what they had there. oh my goodness. visited one last winery, the visanna, before going back. visanna had really good views, but lots of people. ack. drove back happy and exhausted.

Dec. 27: Walked out to Pier 39 and saw sea lions. their antics were great to watch. they've made the pier into a sanctuary for them, so there are quite a lot of them to look at. walked around the wharf and looked at fishing boats, then bought a trolley car pass and took the trolley up to Nob hill. decided not to stay on the hill, but rather went on into downtown san francisco. walked around with LOTS of people. i'm not one for shopping, but i guess if you like it, this is the place to go. got some lunch and then walked all the way back to the Wharf from downtown. really nice, long walk. (lots of walking on this trip, i noticed. which made me happy, as i love walking). my brother insisted we visit this silly spy shop, and i got a neat tee shirt. went to safeway on my mother's request, then bought books and went back to the hotel happy. LOTS OF NEW BOOKS!!! yay!

Dec. 28: definitely the low point of the trip. D: it would have been great if not for the crowded bus and the throngs of people. to sum up, we took a bus to monterrey, tried to go to the aquarium, and were literally unable to see anything amidst the swarming masses of people. it was awful. the bus took us around pebble beach and over to carmel, neither of which are bad, but aren't that great when you're exhausted, and then drove back. our driver was horrible and so it took four hours to get back to the hotel. ick. ah well, we still had a good time making fun of rich snobbish bores. :d

Dec. 29: slept in after the day before. walked to the boudin sourdough factory for breakfast. most excellent. walked around columbus street and found a hair salon to fix my seaweed problem. got a haircut (brown again, and back to nice and short) from a cool woman from Dublin. she was going to make me look like Adrian Brody, but i got her to cut it a bit more and now it's all spiky. :D Went on a great wandering up lombard street (the crooked one), over to hyde, up broadway, back to columbus and everywhere. wandered over the the red light district and saw the beat museum, then went back near coit tower and found a GREAT toy store called 'Double Punch'. much merchandise was purchased (i am stupid to be spending any money). walked back and did a lot of drawing in the evening.

Dec. 30: flew home!

so yea. that was it! yay! i really liked san francisco. great city.

hope everyone had a great holiday!
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21st Dec, 2007 @ 13:55 sellin' stuff
Place: blizzard
Attitude: busy
Tunes: Led Zeppelin
ok. so. i'm in DESPERATE need of money. (well, not death desperate, but i really want to get going with my next tattoo and i don't have the moneys.)
thus: i am putting a bazillion things up for sale. most will be priced $5-$10, but some may be more. i'm going to put the sale list up and keep it up for as long as is necessary!
also- i am taking commissions by request. i need the money ASAP so i won't start any commissions until i get payment, but i GUARANTEE i will finish and send all commissions in a timely fashion. :)
-NOTE: to those who have already commissioned me, you get first slots, but i will have to move you for a little while until you can pay. sorry. :( i'm still working on them, though! that means you NRG ;). i <3 you.
please, if you can, help a fella get ink and buy some stuff!!! :D

ps: i know that my motive is entirely selfish. that's just the facts. buy something anyway!

pps: sorry for the totally narcissistic and capitalistic post. alas, sometimes tattoos get the better of me.

>>all artworks are originals, unless otherwise specified<<
>>all artwork will be signed, dated, and laminated before shipping<<
>>larger items on illustration board or cardstock will be signed and dated<<
>>>>>>>>SHIPPING IS AT BUYERS EXPENSE!<<<<<<<<<<< sorry guys.
For Sale:
- will be printed on photo paper and laminated- $50
- $15
- $5
-$10
- $10
- LARGE! $45 (i can't bear to let it go for less).
- LARGE! $15
- looks much better IRL $15
- will spray stencil on anything you want! plain paper = $15, note me about prices for tee shirts, bags, etc..
- $15
- $5
- $5
- $10
- $5
-$5

~~ I'LL ALSO BE SELLING THINGS THROUGH MY FUR AFFINITY GALLERY, INCLUDING COMMISSIONS!~~~
~~IF YOU SEE ANYTHING IN MY GALLERY THAT YOU WANT, NOTE ME! IT'S PROBABLY FOR SALE!!!~~
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20th Dec, 2007 @ 22:21 early
Place: home
Attitude: cheerful
Tunes: Led Zeppelin
so.
my brohoss goes off to winter workshop tomorrow, we're leaving for San Francisco on monday and then my 'rents are off to New York for the new year and who knows how much after.
so we all decided to do christmas tonight, seeing as it was the only time we'd all be together before the actual holiday.
it was great. my parents loved their gifts, especially my mom. my brother had a good time and seemed to like what he got also. i got my mom an easy-bake oven, because she's been telling me her whole life how she asked for one every christmas and never got one. she was overjoyed to finally get one, albeit two decades late. :)
i got two books, that really cool Led Zeppelin compilation 'mothership', a giant stuffed sheepdog and some money from my grandparents. really good stuff!!! i'm very happy.
the lights i painstakingly set up to be 'plug in and go' didn't work. alas. that will teach me to risk life and limb climbing around on the roof. well, they always tell you the 'leave them up all year' method doesn't work. i guess i just had to see it for myself.
in other news, i'm working on getting my shit together, whatever that means. it's been interesting thus far, that's for sure.

merry early Christmas/Kwanzaa/Chanukah/Yule/Non-denominational winter festival to everyone! i hope you all have a great time during your respective december holiday!
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